Wednesday
Feb102010
How To Avoid A St. Valentine's Day Massacre
Wednesday, February 10, 2010 at 8:00AM Ladies and Gentlemen as Valentines Day descends up on us I feel obligated to save you from yourselves. Here are a few tips to help you keep the romance alive.
Ladies:
- Take care of your lady bits. (Shave, Wax, Laser, Nair, Neet) It's a holiday for god's sake!
- Wear something pretty, put away your t-shirt and jeans, a dress and heels won't kill you and men like to see their woman look girlie.
- Lingerie is your friend. Granny panties are a big NO,NO! Repeat after me Men are Visual, Men are Visual! Why do you think the Victoria's Secret lingerie fashion show is broadcast live on a major network.
- Makeup and hair, just do it, it shows you made an effort and you still care about impressing him.
- If you can't get out for a date night, set the mood at home, wine and candles equals BOOTY!
Gentlemen:
- Like I said to the ladies about their nether regions, you need to MANSCAPE. If we have to torture ourselves in the most uncomfortable and embarrassing manner for your viewing pleasure, take care of your back hair, it won't kill you. Trust me, your woman will like not wrapping herself around a gorilla this one time.
- How about not wearing the same pair of jeans and dirty t-shirt you've been wearing for like, forever. Change it up and wear something fresh. And if you plan on taking your lady out, a dress shirt, tie and or shirt and blazer won't hurt.
- Be a Man, make the plans, kick it old school for once and take charge. Ladies like to feel taken care of sometimes.
- If you can't afford a gift or to take your lady out, a card or small gesture that you care will still get you laid, it's the thought that counts with us, an INSTANT PANTY DROPPER!
- Guys silly gag gifts, please save them for another occasion, this is about AMOR, ROMANCE not how funny you can be.
I hope this little reminder to show your significant other they still got it and more importantly that you still got it, will result in lots of sexy time! Happy Valentines Day!
If you have any Valentine's Day tips please post in the comments below.
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Reader Comments (12)
Most amusing. thanks for all the Great tips! well done.
I've never had a Valentines Day with anyone special,even though I don't normally wear dresses or heels I'd get them if someone took a fancy to me, who was cute and didn't tell me about all his operations and diseases or live in a crappy senior high rise or trailor park, and guys when they get older don't just have back hair, they have a forest coming out of their noses and ears, and your cant whisper anything because they cant hear you or you set off their hearing aid, being older isn't too romantic, But you kids have a good time, enjoy your day with that cutie you have!!
Come on Mary love is for everyone young and old. I know what you mean about the man hair sprouting everywhere on older gentlemen. I still hope you have a brilliant day!
"Love is a Dog from Hell" Charles Bukowski
Hahaha....manscape....
Even tho after 25 years with the same man, Valentines Day is not something we participate in (I get V-Day, everyday) your tips are ON SPOT! For both Women and Men. Good Job.
everything you said is sooooo true!!!! listen to her people !!!!! :)
Wow I felt like I just read something quoted from The Ugly Truth, LOL! Saw DB's tweet *giggles* Very well done. I'll probably be in PJ's with the remote, hot compress over my sinuses & a line up of movies to watch. Not a man in my life so I don't have anything to worry about.
I'd say these are good points to pay attention to, but I can't emphasize how excitied I am to be single this 2/14/10. Me, beer, Xbox and no ass will be having a grand ol' time.
I also just made up the word excitied. Excited should do the trick.
Love this! Both need to put in a little
extra effort in grooming & just being
present-let the daily BS fall away for one
night and appreciate the people you love.
And YES it's Amazing when
the man makes plans. Dear Lord, "what do
you want to do" reminds me of high school.
Most women appreciate even simple thoughtful
efforts. Happy Valentines everyone!
Andy's got the right idea. Bravo Andy :P
As I stated above...Pj's, movies, hot compress over sinues & thankfully not a single soul to impress or get fancied up for. I haven't had a real Vday....ever...to my knowledge...